Skip to content

Subscribe to Blog via Email

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and you will receive our stories in your inbox.

Selfish for a day

Posted in Life & Love

claudia This birthday is strangely welcome.
This birthday, I feel particularly selfish and in a celebratory mood.
This birthday, my mind is filled with plans that stretch from today to next Spring.

Ever so slowly, I shed the disease and confront the possibility of optimism, and images of everything that can be fill my head.

Words that need to be written. Books awaiting to be read. People to leave and others to welcome. The selfishness of saying no to open the door to more interesting yeses. A beach in Thailand with Sue’s and my name gently written in the sand. Glenda Jackson on the stage just because I felt like it (and because Brexit made it cheap).

Hours and days and months to fill. Or not to fill.
Love to give and to receive.
Giving myself an emotional makeover – which I started with a haircut.
A whole week without saying sorry.

The fear locked in a closet, the key at my disposal, but it can gather dust, for all I care.

A life, my life, slightly re-jiggled: still full of potholes, like the roads of Los Angeles, but still in good enough condition to get me where I need to go.
Which, today, is right here: to me. The best gift.

Share on Facebook

20 Comments

  1. Happy birthday! Good to know was one positive outcome of Brexit…

    July 8, 2016
    |Reply
    • camparigirl
      camparigirl

      Sorry about that Brexit mess. On one hand, I am bummed my Italian passport will not grant me automatic residency anymore; on the other, I might be able to afford to buy a flat in London!

      July 9, 2016
      |Reply
  2. I like your road/pothole analogy. Not sure if this was the angle you were going for, but reading this made me feel quite at peace.

    Happy birthday! 🙂

    July 8, 2016
    |Reply
    • camparigirl
      camparigirl

      I am not sure I was going for anything in particular but making someone feel at peace seems like a great outcome.

      July 9, 2016
      |Reply
  3. It is my birthday, too . . . Happy Birthday to you! And I also just finished another breast cancer scare . . . which is going well although arimidex will be on the agenda for years . . . your posts in general resonate with me (also an Italian-American, although one born here) but this one in particular really hit home. I have changed my paradigm, viscerally if that is possible, to be more selfish with my limited time in the same way you describe. Thanks so much for your thoughts and observations which often mirror my own. I’ve shared many of your messages with relatives and friends and they love them, too. Your feelings about food and friends and the fleeting-ness of time as well as your memories of travels and your wonderful youthful adventures have provided interesting and enjoyable reading for me and spurred my own recollections . . . thank you for all that.

    July 8, 2016
    |Reply
    • camparigirl
      camparigirl

      Happy Birthday Meri! And fellow Cancer girl….in more ways than one….your comment was a wonderful birthday gift. And hang in there with the stupid pills – I am trying to like them and I have been able to minimize the side effects. One day (and one pill) at a time…

      July 9, 2016
      |Reply
      • Yes, I agree,
        one day at a time. And I have to say it really is “mind over matter” with the pills as I keep doing what I normally do although it takes more effort . . . like I’m moving elephants around . . . whether I’m doing housework, yardwork, cleaning the pool, watering and weeding . . . everything just takes more effort. Where did my boundless energy go?

        July 10, 2016
        |Reply
  4. Sadie11*
    Sadie11*

    happy birthday from Prague! what a gorgeous photo! a return of good health and an optimistic slant is indeed a wonderful combo!

    July 8, 2016
    |Reply
    • camparigirl
      camparigirl

      Prague! I always wanted to visit (Sadie??)

      July 9, 2016
      |Reply
  5. petal
    petal

    Happy happy birthday and many many more – thank you for the joy and inspiration your blog gives me everyday.

    July 8, 2016
    |Reply
    • camparigirl
      camparigirl

      Thank you Petal. What a sweet, and much appreciated, thought.

      July 9, 2016
      |Reply
  6. Joyeux Anniversaire????

    July 8, 2016
    |Reply
    • camparigirl
      camparigirl

      Merci bien!

      July 9, 2016
      |Reply
    • camparigirl
      camparigirl

      Grazie Arlene. I will have to try hard. My instinct is always to do something for somebody else…

      July 9, 2016
      |Reply
  7. Ah, what a wonderful attitude to life you have! Your year ahead sounds truly gorgeous – the books, Glenda Jackson, time on the beach with Sofa Girl… May you enjoy a fabulous birthday, and a glorious year. You deserve it!

    July 8, 2016
    |Reply
    • camparigirl
      camparigirl

      Thank you so much Susan!

      July 9, 2016
      |Reply
  8. Happy birthday to you. After a dance with cancer, we might find ourselves looking over our shoulders, but as the birthdays roll on, it’s easier to start looking forward–untethered. All the best to you.

    July 7, 2016
    |Reply
    • camparigirl
      camparigirl

      Keeping fingers crossed your wishes come true!

      July 9, 2016
      |Reply

Got some thoughts? We would love to hear what you think

%d bloggers like this: