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Goodbye to a boy.

Posted in Food, Life & Love, and Relationships

Tonight I want to believe in heaven.

Some friends of mine have suffered the devastating loss of their child. A sweet boy who decided the pain of the earth was not worth living through any more. And so: directed his own way to a place where he believed he would feel whole and belong. Where he could find peace. Something, for all the hugs and love and warmth and cuddles and care he always had from his family, he just couldn’t find on earth.

The mind is a cruel, powerful master. It can strip the beauty of the day in a blink, and leave us with hard fibres of loneliness and fear. It can sow doubt and mistrust, where none belong. It can decimate any bubble of joy with cruel judgement and slander. Make hard truths of lies. Single us out. Separate us from the familiar and known.

And each day: adrift on a wave of our own misgivings, we stand and we look in the mirror and we believe what we think. And we are crushed a little bit more.

I want this to stop. I want days to be more fun and for us to forgive ourselves for the things that unseat and unsettle. To embrace anyone excluded or strange. To put out a hand and send a smile. To stop for a beat before we deem. To ask the questions when they need to be asked: Are you doing ok? Can I be of some help? Do you need a moment to sit and talk?

And then to stay and listen when someone answers “Yes, please I do.”

10348371_704881252917975_8275731382653723535_nLet’s all try it for the rest of the week. Let’s soften our eyes to ourselves and towards others. Smile when we speak. Hush the demons when they come to call: “not now, thank you. I am busy being happy.” Let’s do one fun thing for ourselves every day. And then one for someone else. Whether it is just a wink, or a small courtesy, a hug, touch or a favour paid forward. Let’s hold our tongues when we start to speak ill of ourselves. Or of another.

We’ll do it for H in his memory – so he will know from his perch on the cloud, that we were listening.

Okay?

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12 Comments

  1. Such a sad, sad thing, the loss of a child. I hope you and your friend find some comfort and peace. My thoughts are with you. <3

    November 1, 2014
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  2. […] the beginning of the week I wrote that I wanted to believe in heaven. The loss of that sweet life is still painful, but the reflection that has come with it is an […]

    October 31, 2014
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  3. I really loved this post. I felt you.
    xoxJ

    October 29, 2014
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  4. What will happen after the end?

    October 29, 2014
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  5. I lost a good friend this way. I still cannot place the loss of answers I saw in his mother’s eyes. Thank you for keeping his memory alive. I’m sending my heart to you, him and his family tonight in hopes he’s finding his way home alright.

    – Calvin

    October 29, 2014
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  6. Wonderful and sad post. Losing a child must be one of the worst things to endure. I have four children,thirteen grandchildren, and nearly one great-grandchild. To lose any would break my heart.

    October 28, 2014
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  7. What a beautiful tribute post. I love your words and the cartoon you shared. It is so hard to live here on earth sometimes. My heart goes out to you and the family of the boy you lost.

    October 28, 2014
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  8. I really really really like this post and above all the thing of hushing the our demons.

    October 28, 2014
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  9. silvia
    silvia

    Ok my friend. Will do my best to promise you.

    October 28, 2014
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  10. This is such a moving post. It breaks my heart to think what he and his parents went through. I will certainly try to carry through your recommendations today and pray that someone is able to do the same for my son who lives far away.

    October 28, 2014
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